Podcast: The Roads We Dared
About This Conversation
There is something rather fascinating about control.
The more responsibility we have, the more we are expected to demonstrate it.
Control over our decisions. Our emotions. Our performance. Our results.
But what if one of the most important lessons in leadership is recognising how little we actually control?
In this episode of The Roads We Dared, we explore decision-making, mental resilience, mistakes, accountability, and the relationship between preparation and adaptability.
And we challenge an assumption that continues to influence the way people approach performance: that being in control means being able to determine what happens next.
You Can Be Prepared Without Being in Control
I have spent years preparing horses for international competition.
Preparation is essential. Every detail matters, from the technical work to the physical condition of the horse, from the daily routine to the smallest adjustments in training.
But no amount of preparation gives me absolute control over what will happen in the arena.
There is another living being involved. There are circumstances I cannot predict. There are reactions I cannot manufacture.
And there are moments when the best decision is not the one I planned to make.
This is where adaptability becomes more valuable than the appearance of control.
Because preparation should make you capable of responding to reality, not dependent on reality following your expectations.
Motivation Is Not a Reliable Strategy
We also discuss why high performance cannot depend entirely on motivation.
Motivation changes.
It is influenced by emotions, circumstances, energy, and countless external factors.
Some days we feel enthusiastic. Other days we don’t.
But responsibilities do not disappear because enthusiasm is missing.
What allows us to remain consistent is something less exciting, perhaps, but far more reliable: the structure we have developed through our habits, decisions, discipline, and experience.
I don’t need to feel motivated every morning to understand what needs to be done.
And neither does anyone else who has accepted responsibility for a demanding objective.
The Second Mistake Is Often a Choice
Making a mistake is part of being human.
But what happens afterwards is another matter.
Sometimes people become so concerned with defending their original decision that they stop evaluating whether it was correct.
They protect the explanation instead of addressing the problem.
And that is where credibility begins to suffer.
Acknowledging a mistake does not automatically diminish authority.
Refusing to acknowledge reality often does.
The ability to correct a decision, accept responsibility, and move forward is not a contradiction of leadership.
It is part of it.
What We Discussed
- Why control and responsibility are not the same thing.
- Decision-making when information is incomplete.
- The importance of adaptability in high-performance environments.
- Mental resilience beyond motivational thinking.
- How mistakes influence credibility and trust.
- The relationship between personal identity and accountability.
- Lessons from elite sport that apply to business and everyday life.
My Thoughts
I think we waste an extraordinary amount of energy trying to control things that were never entirely ours to control.
Other people’s reactions.
Circumstances.
Timing.
Results.
Of course, we can influence some of these things. We can prepare, communicate, anticipate, and make intelligent decisions.
But influence is not control.
And confusing the two creates unnecessary frustration.
For me, the most useful question is not, “How can I make sure everything goes according to plan?”
It is, “Am I capable of dealing with what happens when it doesn’t?”
Because the world does not owe us predictable circumstances. And our responsibility does not end when circumstances become unpredictable.
Available on Apple Podcasts.
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The belief that we need complete information before making a decision can become another way of trying to control the uncontrollable.
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