Wait. You Can’t Leave That Part Out.

“You know how it is.” Sometimes, yes.

But you have just mentioned a missed flight, an unexpected invitation and somebody you apparently never spoke to again.

I know absolutely nothing. Please continue.

I love the moment a conversation escapes its polite introduction.

We have established what everybody does. Someone has asked about the journey. The table has behaved impeccably.

Then a person mentions something almost in passing, and suddenly there is a story.

“You actually said that?”

“What did she do?”

“Wait. Was this before or after you realised?”

These are promising developments.

I am interested in what people choose when the situation stops following the plan. The ridiculous detail they still remember. The thing they were convinced they would hate and ended up loving. The explanation that sounded perfectly reasonable until they heard themselves say it aloud.

You can spend an evening learning impressive facts about someone and leave with very little sense of their company.

Then they tell you why they once drove two hours in completely the wrong direction, and you begin to understand each other.

There is an art to asking another question without turning dinner into an interview.

Follow what caught your attention. Let the person take a detour. Resist the temptation to replace their story immediately with your own slightly similar, considerably longer version.

I think the small details deserve their moment.

What was the first thing you noticed?

What nearly made you change your mind?

And the particularly dangerous question: would you do it again?

The answer to that one can alter the atmosphere beautifully.

Of course, nobody owes a table their private life.

There are stories people want to tell and others they prefer to keep. A good conversation leaves room for that.

But when the enthusiasm is there—when somebody leans forward, starts laughing before reaching the important part, or says, “Actually, I haven’t told you this”—I want to hear the rest.

The evening has acquired a plot.

We may have ordered dessert twenty minutes ago. Somebody should probably check.

Although if the waiter arrives just as you are explaining what happened next, I am going to need him to be very understanding.

And if someone at the table shares your sense of humour, recovering your composure may take a little longer.

Silvia