Please Don’t Make Me Laugh. This Is Serious.

The worst thing you can do, when I am trying to behave, is look at me because you know.

You know exactly what I noticed.

Now we have a problem.

Until that moment, I was managing perfectly well.
A respectable expression. Appropriate posture. Every intention of getting through the situation like a civilised person.

Then one glance.

I look away. You look away. This should help.

It makes everything considerably worse.

There is a particular intimacy in sharing a sense of humour with someone.

They recognise the tiny absurdity you have spotted before either of you says a word.

A sentence lands strangely. Someone becomes a little too impressed with themselves. You remember something that absolutely must not be remembered right now.

And suddenly, maintaining eye contact would be a serious operational mistake.

I love people I can laugh like that with.

People who have seen me capable, determined, completely focused—and can still reduce me to someone who needs a moment before she can speak.

There is room for all of it. Ambition, difficult conversations, responsibilities.

And the glorious stupidity of trying to recover while somebody whispers, “Are you all right?”

No. Obviously.

But give me a minute.

And whatever you do, do not tell me to be serious.

That was the original plan.

Silvia